Notes for Family, Friends, and/or Staff
If you know someone who you believe "has a problem" or would benefit from counseling, a referral to the resources offered through this clearinghouse can assist you in taking the first step. As a co-worker, spouse or significant other of a person involved in drugs, alcohol, gambling or mental illness you can easily be dragged down and into into their unfortunate reality. The results of this unhealthy pattern is often one that adversely affects both people.
The key to helping someone with these problems is to find a balance between helping and enabling the problem. The tough love approach is the sanest approach for you to follow. By following some of the guidelines through the organizations and books referenced below you will not ignore the person’s problems, nor will you enable the person by helping them avoid the negative consequences of their behavior.
Keeping your balance in these situations is much more difficult than it would seem. The closer you are to the person with the problem (the dependent) the harder it becomes to "detach with love". Al-Anon/Narc-Anon/Gam-Anon are all members of proven 12 Step/Self Help programs to assist friends and family members to cope with these very difficult situations. When needed a professional counselor can be used to assist in an "intervention" to help the "dependent person" by confronting the denial and by supporting a referral to treatment.If any of these issues are affecting you, start by utilizing your State Health Benefits to seek private counseling and or reaching out to the self-help groups mentioned in the "Additional Assistance & Information" tab.References:
- Against The Wall, John Hough and Marshall Hardy
- Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling other and Start Caring For Yourself, Melody Beattie
- Courage To Change: One Day at a Time in Al-Anon, Al-Anon.
- I"ll Quit Tomorrow: A Practical Guide to Alcoholism Treatment, Vernon E. Johnson
- Intervention: How to Help Someone Who Doesn"t Want Help, Vernon E. Johnson
- Hazelden Web site (www.hazelden.org)